Friday, April 22, 2005

Oh Krishna

Well it all started on the day of Vishu .
It was the Festival of Vishu as I said and I wanted a photo of lord Krishna so that I can see him in the morning( Vishukani ) . I went to the neighborhood Asian Store ( 22 Miles away ) not exactly neighborhood , to find a photo of my deity. There was none there and I was a bit disappointed . Coming back home an idea struck me , I should be able to get a photo from the net and get it printed in walmart where they have a 24 hour photo centre with 1 hour processing. Right ! hm... I was soon to find out how wrong I was
Armed with this knowledge . I first got a photo of the lord from some temple site and I uploaded it to walmart online photo store. Searched my zipcode and scheduled a local pickup at the nearest walmart store.

Feeling too good about my extra-ordinary idea I went home and drove with my wife to the shopping centre . On the way I gave a big lecture about how man should adapt to his environment and get what he wants from the resources available to us. I could see that she was half bored but I kept yakking anyway .
Half an hour later at the store ..Photo Centre

Abhi : Hi
Lady at the counter : Hi
Abhi : I have a photo pickup
Lady at the counter : Uh . What's your last name ?
Abhi : Shanmugan ( Thinks.. what is it with this country in last names? Doesn't nobody want to know my Name ! )
Lady at the counter : I am not able to find it
Abhi: It was an one hour processing
Lady at the counter : Oh! I was checking in the wrong draw
Abhi: Itsalrite (grins)
Lady at the counter : Is it a small or a large photo
Abhi : Large 8 x 10
Lady at the counter : ok .. No Cant find it
Abhi : I uploaded it from the net
Lady at the counter :( checks the computer) gets the picture of Krishna . Sir is this your picture
Abhi : (Nods ) Yeah
Lady at the counter : Sir, We cant print this , This is a digital picture
Abhi : What , Aren't they all digital I mean
Lady at the counter : No sir this is a graphic and we need permission form the owner of this photograph
Abhi : Well it is a god's photograph
Lady at the counter :Sir We cant .It is against our policy
Abhi : What I am telling you that is a photo of GOD
Lady at the counter : Well
Abhi: Do you mean to say I need to get a copyright from God , I am sure god wont mind Walmart printing a photo of him
Lady at the counter : Well sir let me talk to my Manager
Abhi : Sure
Tall Man : Sir may I help you ?
Abhi : Yes you may , please ( explains the whole problem)
Tall Man : (nods his head ) Sir this picture is a digital picture
Abhi : Yeah I know So ?
Tall Man : We cant print it , We need permission from whoever owns copyright of this picture
Abhi : This is for my personal use and not for sale , And look I have this important festival coming up and I need to have this picture
Tall Man : Sir I understand but It is against our policy
Abhi : Are you telling me that if I have a photo of Lord Jesus here I cant print it in Walmart.
Tall Man : Yes that is correct sir
Abhi : Well what if I declare that I won copyright for that picture
Tall Man : Sir you have to be a licensed artist or a studio
Abhi : What ? Cant a normal human being work on paintbrush and get a picture
Tall Man : No
Abhi : Damn
(Abhi Throws his hand up in the Air , Stands near the counter , No budging , apparently Abhi has decided the Non -Violent protest is the way to go )

Tall Man : Sir , I can talk to Senor Store Manager of some other store
Abhi : Sure
Tall Man : Talks on the phone
( Abhi cant hear what is being said , long conversation, Abhi is not impressed , This is an old trick , he talks to his some buddy and you think it is some big shot on the other end when the joke is on you )
Tall Man : Sir we can't print it
Abhi : Why am I not surprised ?
Tall Man: We cant help you
Abhi : Ok
(Gives up walks a few paces dejected and then suddenly turns around comes back . One notices a sparkle in Abhi's eyes)
Abhi; Where is your printer Section ?
Tall Man : Over there
Abhi : Suppose I buy a printer , I can always return it If i am not satisfied with it within 14 days right ? I guess that is ok in Store policy
Tall Man : yeah ,That is correct
Abhi : I would like to buy a photo printer
Tall Man : which Model
Abhi : Oh the costliest and the best
Tall Man : Well that would be .... ( Groans as it strikes him and you can see a smile spreading across Abhi's Face :-)

PS: Abhi and Bini ultimately saw lord Krishna on Abhi's new laptop,
Happy Vishu to all

1 comment:

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